Heya, if you're reading this I'm assuming you're wondering what in the world happened to me. And I want to assure you I'm doing just fine! Better even after my departure from this account you found this note on.

I don't like being negative, or sharing sad subjects. But unfortunately I just can't handle being in the abdl community anymore. After getting a nice hit with reality on my choices of drawings and such back in... I believe November. I had to think real hard on if I should go on with making more content in the community. I was already losing motivation before November, and even after it worsened.

I'm not going to sugar coat things, this is complete honestly. And hopefully useful if you're in the same ditch as me at the time. At the time of running my account, I only continued drawing what I did to make money, get attention (unfortunately I always seek it, not sure why art wise), and be happy.

My early life wasn't good to me, I won't go deep into my early years as a child. But I lost someone very special to me at a very young age, and it altered my life. I didn't get that parental love everyone needs as a kid, and I never had much of a childhood past that. I was heavily neglected on my mental health, and was heavily gaslighted (personal subjects and much more) from child to adult, even refusal and mockery when asking for help.

And with myself seeking that parental love, I met my ex. We'll called them Denis for private reasons. Denis groomed me, they were 19/20 when I met them in late 2019 (or early, it's been awhile). And I was 15/16 when meeting and dating them. They were the ones who Introduced me to abdl, and very sensitive topics like rape, and sexual content. They would always talk to me about their past, how they've gotten raped, constantly and always uses that to put me down. There is nothing wrong in sharing your experiences and seeking help, but using that for manipulation to get what you want isn't okay. And I know, from my pov. I wasn't the greatest at dating, and believing I have BPD, due to my sudden out bursts and clingy behavior. Which at the time of me being 15/16 and with their behavior, it just didn't mix well.

It took me this long to realize it wasn't okay, I had no idea, and it hurts. It still does, and it makes me sick that they convinced me to get into such a subject. Making me believe it was okay. And I'm so sorry. I had no idea, I thought it was for comfort, I thought it would help me make friends, and help me get by before I moved out. I never meant to gross anybody out. I'm very sorry to the communities, friends, old moots, everything.

Its been hard getting over this, but I'm doing so much better now. Believe me I can finally sleep peacefully at night, I feel like a weight has lifted off my shoulders. I know I change the past, but I just want you to know I've changed and am taking better care of myself. The future is looking bright again, and I have meaning once more. Thank you to everyone who has supported me, and have stuck around for the long run.

I hope this clears the air the little bit, and we can all come to a better understanding of my situation and the future for me. Thank you for reading, and if you ever see me out in the wild come by and say hi!! I have a new account now called Horrorstarz on twitter, where I've been drawing Hannibal and other horror stuff!! Would be so happy to see you there and stop by! But it's okay if you don't want too, I hope you have a great rest of whatever time it is for you 🩵